Alright, I'll take the typewriter and the shotgun. Tyrell, you take the weird shit.

I was just thinking about random crap from the past the other day and remember that time that we were at the video store and we went to rent something and jims like "i'll put it on my card" and when they swiped it the girl was like:
"sir it appears you have a number of late charges. you owe $2.50 on dragonball budokai for playstation 2 and $5.50 on sexual predator. she raised the volume of her voice when she said sexual predator so everyone could hear. i dont quite remember all too much after that, i was laughing pretty fucking hard and i had to leave the store.

seriously, who else was there? little was, right? was that the same day we watched evil dead and made all those jokes that are timeless on their own?




and honestly...who rents a dragonball z game and softcore porno both at the same time....and returns the videogame first.

Cupid should be castrated.

Yes. todays the day. the most hated day of the year by myself and billions of others. yes, it is valentines day. the day when people walk around expressing their love. children feel the obligation to buy little paper squares with hearts on them due to the pressure of their classes. the day that men look at that overpriced bouqet of flowers and ask themselves "do i really love her this much?" and get a single flower instead. the day chocolate companies go to sleep on a giant pile of money, and otherwise hopeless people get to pressure their significant other into sex. yes, it is a magical time of year. and i couldnt possibly be any happier that i'm spending it at home and not at school or anywhere else. i have always felt a deep and dark hatred towards this day and im sure everyone else does too. but at the same time today brings me the glee of being exonerated from love and anything of the sort. bitter is better and it always has been. i will begin with:

A Brief History on Valentine's Day

- it is believed that emperor claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those who were married so he outlawed marriage for young men; the cream of his crop. saint valentine (a martyr for his actions) decided this was unjust and performed marriages for young men and their lovers in secret. Upon the discovery of his actions, he was put to death.

- the first 'valentine' was believed to be sent by the saint while he was in jail. it was addressed to a young girl whom he fell in love with before and was signed 'From your valentine'.

- the day feb. 14 is believed to be the day he was put to death. others say it was the beginning of the birds mating season is france and has been declared the holiday of love. others believe we celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. god only fuckin knows what that means. and yes, many boys along that day used sliced pieces of goat dipped in sacrificial blood to slap women. thats my kinda holiday.

- 80% of all valentines are purchased by women

- valentine's day is statistically the day on which most suicides occur over the course of the entire year.

- it is also called by many to be 'single discrimination day'. i am a firm believer in this.


and that just about does it for that. so i will close this now with some possible valentines for insensitive men who haven't any idea on how to get their point across.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

its a little rash yes, but humour and i have been strangers for a while so it may take time for us to become aquainted again.

stupid blog is working again. its good to have things work.

I kill you scum.

i hate blogs. this gay monkey loving garbage isnt doing what i want. having a blog is like drinking diet coke for life. or winning a car then finding out its a suzuki. no matter what you do, you get fucked. like being a cuban albino. or a gay french guy. pocket deuces. full of no misses and this is one of them. so no cartoons until this gayness passes.

They're coming to get you Barbara.

They're horny. They've been dead for a long time. Look, there's one of them now.

Another good old fashioned horror quote.

I am forcing myself to write something but i have nothing to write about. for the past two nights ive been falling asleep before i even make it to bed. i passed out on my bedroom floor the other night watching raiders of the lost ark, waking up at 4 am wondering where the fuck AM i? am i DRUNK? but anyways, ive made it my decision, in accordance to being
1. batman
2. a zombie
3. an evil genius
ive decided to take it upon myself to add indiana jones to the list. quite possibly the coolest job ever. hes a prof and a treasure hunter. PLUS, hes harrison ford and we all envy his scruffybeard attitude that he has attained for himself. i mean, for myself.

how could i possibly make such a careless grammatical error?

lady, you need to be easy.

today was the first day i was home at 8 pm this year. that is early. very early. my city is experiencing bad vibrations these days. people everywhere are always fighting or hitting their children or shooting people. the world these days is becoming less and less a place that id like to persist in and not because of the person i am but the people around me. why all the frustration? of course asking such a question will not change tomorrow or anyone else for that matter, for the 'people' i meet on a day to day basis are not people at all but just another part of the scenery. except for those abusive enough to get me to intrude on their lives, but those are not details for which im willing to disclose. people in general anger me. there are days in which im able to find beauty in how ugly the world really is but not as of late. the only place i feel mentally safe is the library because im alone there. today i smiled at a stranger and she smiled back and it made me have a postive reflection on the day. then i ran into a woman hitting her child and that made me wonder what is the world coming to? tolerating such behaviour is unacceptable and its that sort of thing that breeds men willing to do nothing but sell their soul to what others tell them to do. and that upsets me. its funny to see how two ends of the human spectrum can be so close together.

today i went to go buy tickets to the rocky horror picture show play at my school and every last show was sold out and that made me sad about life because i was really in the mood to see a bunch of transvestites dance around in clothing that leaves little to the imagination, wielding whips and anything that can be used to muffle voices.

i know the only person who reads this is steve little, so steve im sorry this is not a cartoon and a reflection on the nuisance of my life. so i apologize. it would have been better if it had no audience at all. i just need to get back into the habit of using this site. and i shall use my negativity to do so until then.

yes, im well aware that 90% of blogs out there are people complaining about their the oh so tragic woes and attempting to make an artistic piece of beauty out of the frustration of their lives, and i promise you that wont happen here. ive been down that road in papier form and all it results in is a compilation of memories id rather not have. and besides that, nobody likes having to feel the obsessive compulsive need to be driven to a computer only to be despressed further by the weights from another's shoulders. so i wont do that. but im sure every now and then ill let something "artistically tragic" slip and that is beyond my control. so hopefully ill think of something so deliciously evil to write about.

and that is that

p.s. i have decided not to spend another dime on anything besides commuting to save up for a cello. i will have all money directed towards my food budget to be put into a big jar. and then, come summertime, i will be the happiest man (again) to walk the earth.

or a sad man with a big jar full of money