Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Cupid should be castrated.

Yes. todays the day. the most hated day of the year by myself and billions of others. yes, it is valentines day. the day when people walk around expressing their love. children feel the obligation to buy little paper squares with hearts on them due to the pressure of their classes. the day that men look at that overpriced bouqet of flowers and ask themselves "do i really love her this much?" and get a single flower instead. the day chocolate companies go to sleep on a giant pile of money, and otherwise hopeless people get to pressure their significant other into sex. yes, it is a magical time of year. and i couldnt possibly be any happier that i'm spending it at home and not at school or anywhere else. i have always felt a deep and dark hatred towards this day and im sure everyone else does too. but at the same time today brings me the glee of being exonerated from love and anything of the sort. bitter is better and it always has been. i will begin with:

A Brief History on Valentine's Day

- it is believed that emperor claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those who were married so he outlawed marriage for young men; the cream of his crop. saint valentine (a martyr for his actions) decided this was unjust and performed marriages for young men and their lovers in secret. Upon the discovery of his actions, he was put to death.

- the first 'valentine' was believed to be sent by the saint while he was in jail. it was addressed to a young girl whom he fell in love with before and was signed 'From your valentine'.

- the day feb. 14 is believed to be the day he was put to death. others say it was the beginning of the birds mating season is france and has been declared the holiday of love. others believe we celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. god only fuckin knows what that means. and yes, many boys along that day used sliced pieces of goat dipped in sacrificial blood to slap women. thats my kinda holiday.

- 80% of all valentines are purchased by women

- valentine's day is statistically the day on which most suicides occur over the course of the entire year.

- it is also called by many to be 'single discrimination day'. i am a firm believer in this.


and that just about does it for that. so i will close this now with some possible valentines for insensitive men who haven't any idea on how to get their point across.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

3 Comments:

Blogger Kat said...

i love the sausage! that one is my favorite!

7:43 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

that is such a jim maneuver to pull on valentines day

whattachamp

11:15 PM  
Blogger Zombie_Flyboy said...

Awesome pictures.

I look forward to hitting someone next year with a piece of goat flesh.

I'd have figured there were more suicides during the christmas holidays. I guess that shows what I know.

Later!

2:38 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home