La poubelle

I assure you I am not dead. But my old computer definitely is.

I found a moist towelette in my pocket when I was doing laundry and it said on the front "Winner's Moist Towelette". On the back it said "Cleans and refreshes without soap or water."
Right under this it says "CONTAINS: Water, fragrance & soap." Sense?

Contrary to popular belief, we learn that Winners obviously don't stay in school.