More Zombie.

How come whenever there's some slow fucked up zombie with half of his thigh missing who is chasing some chick, always manages to catch up. He's limping and falling over and using trees to balance himself, and the chick is running like mad, jumping over fallen trees all swiftly. And somehow, everytime she looks over her shoulder he's right fuckin there. Everytime. Or if she trips, shes fucked, he got her, even though its been about 5 minutes of running scenes. Kiss your neck goodbye sister. And they're always wearing high heels. My kingdom to see a chick in sneakers one of these times. Or a marathon runner. And why the fuck does her shoe keep falling off. Or tripping and breaking her ankle. Or realizing OH FUCK, I ran like a coward while my brother was over there fighting off a pack of those things, and running back. I think though, in Night of the Living Dead, the black guy had the right idea. I think he had some zombie strategy formulated long before the radioactive outbreak of the walking dead. I can imagine him sitting in his basement with only one dimly lit candle flickering while he's jotting down strategies against the rotting cadavres. There was only one thing he didn't do, but I REALIZED the trick. IT'S SO BLATANTLY OBVIOUS. Okay, so zombies always break into the houses cause there's so many of them and there's no way they can defend against them all. Going into the house was the first mistake they made. And I'll tell you why. Zombies, alone, are useless. They are slow, weak, and unable to stand properly. But in packs, your ass is as good as eaten. So why didn't he just fuck each one up individually before they grouped up? He knew they were afraid of fire, why not just make a torch from a branch, catch their clothes on fire and beat the fuck out of them when they're all freaked out. It's BULLETPROOF! The best strategy is to stay in the open and move around, cause it's only in the movies that they're always right behind you.

In the case of a zombie outbreak, I think you all know who to call.

And don't fuckin say GHOSTBUSTERS. That's the lamest shit in the history of ever.