Trout.

So I'm sitting to myself peacefully when my sister calls me, telling me it is absolutely urgent that I go into the storage room and look for her birth certificate which, I know, isn't in that room. She thought it would be in the box in which all the baby stuff is kept, even though I knew for a fact it wasn't there. However, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and went searching through a bunch of old dust boxes. I looked through every box and I didn't even find any baby stuff, so I was like fuck this, I'm taking some of these shit for myself. However, once I went digging through the old Super Nintendo games, I found the baby stuff at the bottom, including a log of things from her early life (my mom kept the umbilical cord, how nasty is that). So I checked everything out and concluded there was no birth certificate. So I started towards the old book box, to see if I found anything of interest. I found Be Cool, by Elmore Leonard, which is good cause I've already read the book before that one (Get Shorty). So I grabbed that, then a copy of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe. There was also a large collection of Kurt Vonnegut books, who is one of my favourite writers I will add, including Jailbird, Slapstick, Welcome to the Monkey House, and Breakfast of Champions. But there was one book that caught my attention more so than any of the others. Being a Vonnegut fan, I knew a lot about his books and how he always mentioned Kilgore Trout. So I had to rub my eyes a couple times to make sure I saw this one right.







What the FUCK!? He's a REAL GUY!?!?!?! At first I thought it was a joke, so I needed some proof that it wasn't just some Vonnegut prank.



He looks like a fucking pirate. And he has a short biography inside, all of which was mentioned in Vonnegut's book Slaughterhouse Five.




Wow...he's a real guy. I still can't believe it. Vonnegut wasn't lying though, he really is a terrible writer. I opened the book and read some random line:

"This same bright young executive later was inspired with the idea which rid Earth of all perverts"

Ano no, I didn't pick that out, that was the first line I saw. However, looking through it, a lot of the book looks like poorly constructed sexual content. The second line I randomly picked out was "Pussyloo scratched the itch between her legs and said, "Thats the way it is." But I didn't want to put it at first cause it would look like I was just focusing on the sex jokes.

But the whole fucking book is like that. So I dunno if I could handle 204 pages of crappy writing.