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Today I went to apply for a job at the bubble gum factory. I thought to myself, holy fucking shit I would literally be a kid in a candy store if this pulled through. A big fucking candy store. And I would be the guy carrying all that candy around. The moment I stepped foot in that place, the thick smell of sugar overcame me. I could swim through it, it was that thick. I think it would be possible to get a high just by breathing the air in that place. Oh Mr. Happy Sugar Lungs, please give me some smiles. I would ever so like some smiles. Anyways, if I managed to get the job, the whole Oompa Loompa fantasy would be ruined. Replace the words Oompa Loompa with burly immigrants named Bubba and Tyrone and then thats where reality kicks you in the teeth. And lets not even get started with Wonka. He would be swept from an orange haired purple suited fancy pants to a short fat balding man wearing a wife beater and a cigar in his mouth. But for serious, I think that would be the best job in the world.



Well, ok, it's a close second.