The invaluable spleen.

My thoughts towards world domination by felines were insignificant until today. It was not until I desired a moment of peace and solitude for myself that in strolled my shadow. He is everywhere. In the morning, as I roll from side to side in a discomfort of waking, I can sometimes feel his gelatinous body changing form as I roll over him. When I shower, he breaks in and waits. When I eat, he glares attentively. And when I study, he makes noise. It's obvious what he's trying to do here. He's trying to study my habits. Although, it would be folly of him to do so, unless he has communication to the outside world, which I am uncertain about whether or not he can communicate with his fellow kittens. Oh, I'm sure it sounds ridiculous. Kittens and whatnot...a THREAT. HA! Yes, they want to lure you into a sense of false security. What with those ignorant fools with their OOOO's and AWWWW SO CUTE's. Yes, the cat's love it when they see this. It means they are in dominant control. However, today I discovered this pattern and locked the door, with him on the other side. He banged and thudded and ran against it, meowing and hollering to come inside. This may be what he wants, for me to be cornered in a position of total helplessness, but it is not I who am crazy, it is I who am mad. For the know-how of day to day life shall no longer be his for manipulation. He can throw his own toys around from now on. For I now know, they are only tools for wear, to deplete me of energy, to bring me to a state of ease. I can see him now, peering around the corner, using only one eye. Oh dont think I can't see you. Yeah, I'm looking at you.

That's right. Walk away.